Tuesday, January 14, 2014
don't hold back: 7 billion people in the world could read your blog.
I don't make it a habit to visit the subject of why this blog is called "Escaped From LA" often in large part because it's complicated, but mainly because a blog is a rather public forum that shows up in Google searches. There is something mildly terrifying about the fact that the number of people who can access this blog far exceeds the number of people that my mind can even fathom. I can't be sure whether I want to lay all my shit bare to the people who read this regularly or to anyone with an internet connection who happens to stumble upon this little internet place.
I understand that the point of blogging is the sharing and spreading of information with others. My blog is about my life and my observations. Other people have blogs about their own lives and their own observations as well, so I'm aware that my idea isn't unique. I have always believed in the idea of "writing about what you know," and that is largely what I do. But why blog? Is this an expanded version of Facebook statuses and Twitter posts? Where do we draw the line: when is the word blog simply a euphemism for the words "journal" or "diary?" Or, is it the poor-man's version of a memoir? When did sharing your innermost thoughts, perhaps those that in the past would only have been shared with a close confidante or locked in a book that your curious family members would read behind your back, become the "new normal?" Have any other blogging friends had these questions?
I bring this up because I'm questioning the future and direction of this blog and what I personally am willing to talk about on this forum. By no means am I famous, but I also recognize that we are all one viral post away from infamy, and through many conversations in real life I am coming to realize that a lot more people care and actually read this blog than I realize or ever thought would (and I thank you for that <3). As I have gone back and read old posts, specifically the more recent ones from 2013, I'm not entirely happy with my work here. While I recognize that I am a perfectionist and may be judging myself too harshly (which is why I haven't decided to delete the blog), I also want this body of work to be something that I am proud of. If I'm going to overshare as I do here, I want to present you, the person/people reading this, with solid writing and interesting content. People largely will not read something unless it is interesting or there is a point to what is being written and I don't really enjoy writing without purpose. I've never been a fan of bullshit or wasting time.
I was uncharacteristically passive about all of this for most of last year because I hadn't been able to pinpoint why I wasn't happy with my posts. At first I thought it was simply because I was tired and busy - I tend to keep my schedule really booked most of the time. I also thought that perhaps I just wasn't having as much fun (definitely not the case, especially when you look at my travel calendar). But, as I read more carefully, I realized that the issue goes beyond any of that. The real issue is that I am actively censoring myself and what I choose to write about. I'm holding back, maybe even being a little self-conscious, and it's largely because of how public this forum is. I wouldn't say that I'm necessarily "afraid" to write what I want, but I recognize that there are some safeguards that need to remain in place in order to protect my professional life, feelings, and maintain some semblance of privacy. I think it's important for me, and every blogger who posts regularly, to thoughtfully reassess and revisit their blog to make sure that it's everything it was envisioned to be.
Going forward, I'm going to make an effort to try and write about things that I haven't typically written about here before and hold back less. I signed away privacy to a large degree when I decided to make a blog at all, and when I decided that said blog would be about my life.
an aside: I'm socially aware enough to know that not all 7.046 billion people in the world (number as of 2012, thanks Google search) have internet access but if they did, they could access any website with a working computer connected to the internet. My blog, and everyone else who blogs and doesn't keep shit on lockdown, would be available unless the internet were restricted in their region. I'm also aware that the world is not watching meLOL